does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Randomize
