OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
