I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The air was thick with penises
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
