wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
