Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
