That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
