So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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