I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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