operation have a gay friend backfired
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
