so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
babies were throwing up all over the place
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
