K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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