My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't make out with my wife yet
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
