Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
