So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
