I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
