i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We are two peas in an std pod
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
