I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
