I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
