omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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