if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
