Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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