? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize