sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
