Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
