Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
