so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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