She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
