Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
