GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
