How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
