Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
