thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
