i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
