when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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