You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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