i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
