A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
