You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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