I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
