When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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