Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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