grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
