Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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