he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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