we're blogging at a bar
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
