i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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