Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
try to milk me bitch
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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