Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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