I need help removing her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
