how can u be prego again
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize