I could have mohawked her pubes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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