strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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