Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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