I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
