i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
