all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
