Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
