I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't deserve a penis
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
