Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
