twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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