I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
